Mac and Me 2

I Will Return

[EXT] CEMETERY – DAY

The Cruise family, JANET CRUISE, ELLIOT CRUISE and MICHAEL CRUISE and the MAC family (or what’s left of them), MR. MAC and MAC MAC, stand above a closed casket. Everyone is wearing sunglasses. Everyone is crying. Mr MAC is clutching JANET CRUISE tightly.

Janet breaks away and begins sobbing and pounding the casket.

JANET:I don’t understand. You brought Elliot back when he was shot. You brought Michael back when he was shot. You brought me back when I was shot. Why are you letting Mrs MAC lie in this casket?

<Mr. MAC clutches her shoulder and although his mouth has alien noises coming out of it, his words are beamed directly into out minds>

MAC: Mrs MAC did not die of a gunshot wound. She died of a broken heart.

JANET: But I don’t understand. You are a poly species. She approved of our relationship. Just as you approved of hers and mine. Or at least I thought she did. Was I wrong?

<Mac raises his hand. He speaks English, unlike his father.>

MAC: Don’t be ridiculous other-mother. Birth-Mother loved you equal to Mr. MAC, and she loved Elliot and Michael as she did me.

MICHAEL: That is right. She loved us as if we were her own children and Mr MAC has been a wonderful father to us. He has taught us space calculus even.

ELLIOT: Not to mention all the resurrections from bullets.

<The cast all looks directly at the camera and grins>

MR MAC: And that is the heart of the matter you hit on the head. You see, our power to resurrect the dead only works upon bullets. Any other sort of human death, we simply can do nothing about. Mrs MAC knew that one day one of you would die of a different cause and she just couldn’t handle it.

MAC: She tried to hide it, and did well for a while, but she just couldn’t anymore.

JANET: I do suppose I was wondering why she just did not seem to enjoy her favorite movie anymore. She was sad all the time.

ELLIOT: Indeed, Salò, or 120 Days in Sodom just was not bringing her the same joy that it used to.

MICHAEL: Yeah she used to laugh and laugh and laugh. But lately it barely registered with her.

<Elliot places a hand on the coffin>

ELLIOT: I am going to miss her so much.

JANET: we all will.

<Janet finally leaves the coffin and embraces Elliot. Then Michael, then firmly Mr. MAC>

<The coffin lowers into the dirt.

Suddenly, Mr. MAC is comically sucked into the a vase holding a flower arrangement. Flowers comically go everywhere and get in everyone’s hair.

But the humor is short lived.

Everyone stops laughing as Elliot’s chair hits a flower and falls back into the grave,causing him to hit his head. He is severely injured. >

<Mac thinks fast. He pulls out a gold-plated desert eagle from his waistband and shoots Elliot, killing him>

MR. MAC: Quickly, get him out of that grave!

<The family complies and lays Elliot’s corpse upon the ground.

Mr. MAC and MAC begin to chant. Their power revives Elliot>

JANET: Oh thank god you had that thang on you MAC. We would have lost Elliot otherwise. Luckily he was killed in time by your bullet rather than massive head trauma.

MR MAC: Indeed I love Elliot like he is my son.

ELLIOT: Not LIKE your son. I am your son. Dad!

<Mr MAC reaches down and hugs Elliot, then picks him up and places him back in his chair.

Mac Rushes up and hugs the two, then everyone crowds together in a group >

MR. MAC: I suppose we should be going. Goodbye my first love. Thank you for bringing me to this planet where I found the other parts of my family

<Mr. MAC tosses a handful of dirt upon the grave of Mrs. MAC.

The family gets in the car and leaves. The camera pans to the undertakers finishing the grave, then through the dirt as if it isn’t there, into the coffin. we see it was damaged by the gunfire. It is revealed that the bullet entered Mrs. MAC’s forehead, and blood is dripping out. Oh my, the blood, it’s forming a pattern. >

It reads:

I WILL RETURN